~MoO MoO~: Alive n Kicking even though i'm SINGLE

Thursday, June 03, 2004
「 love was in the air, 7:08 PM 」

Why do i always end up looking like i'm extremely desperate for a guy when actually i'm NOT!??!!! It really sucks. It's not like i hate Jan. I just don't feel anything for him.And so why should i continue to lead him on when he actually thinks of me as someone who is a possible candidate of "more than friends" friend? And what the heck is wrong with guanhong?? Do i seem like i desperately need a boyfriend?? Just because i've discussed my love problems with him doesn't mean that he needs to play matchmaker you know?

I'm not desperate for love!!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING SINGLE?!?!?!? I enjoy being single!!! I think it's nice being single. Yes,i know! i'm at an age whereby i'm suitable for getting a boyfriend and bringing him home to see mama BUT as much as being attached is nice and great, being single is too! You get to go out with your girlfriends, wreak havoc, talk about cute guys in public, flirt with guys in public without having to worry if someone might be shoooting arrows at your back... so i absolutely enjoy being single! I'm not saying that it's not nice to be attached. I mean,it's nice when you can actually bully someone and make him go get your food while u just sit at the table waiting to be served by him... it's also nice to have someone to talk to and officially disturb at 3/4 am in the morning when you're in a bad mood for God knows what reason.BUT,i simply don't see the need to act desperate for a boyfriend just because i'm of an "attachable" age... People, it's perfectly LEGAL to be single,you know?

I know some people think that i'm not acting desperate(or trying very hard not to seem desperate to certain people) simply because i have a phobia of being attached. Yes, i don't deny that. I simply do not have enough faith in BGRs... I think they are very weak and sometimes, love isn't even a factor for 2 person to get together. How ridiculous can that be? Shouldn't all LOVE relationships be based on LOVE and care? Since when did looks and $$ come into the picture. Ok, maybe i shouldn't sound so noble. I'm afterall VERY concerned about a guy's $$ n SLIGHTLY concerned about how a guy looks. But that's because i want to make sure that there can be a future between the guy and i. And, why should i compromise on my standards just because i'm now of an "attachable" age?

Ok, after yakking for so long, i still haven't explained why i seem desperate when i'm not. Well, i don't mind messaging guys i don't know and i don't mind going out with these guys too. But i'm not desperate, serious. I'm just being plain friendly. What's wrong with having more friends? Sighz~ ok, maybe i do seem desperate sometimes BUT i'm NOT!!! Sighz, people, just accept me as who i am and not whether i'm attached or not alright??

YYY